Category Archives: Dorm life


Janu-hairy (or No shave November, Febu-hairy, etc) is an opportunity for the hairy guys on dorm floors to show off how much hair they can grow on their faces by not shaving for an entire semester and to feel more superior and mature compared to those on their floors who cannot grow hair or can only grow a creepy moleststache (I’m looking at you, Jose).

Usually it starts the first of the month with all the males participating (be it floor or dorm wide) being clean shaven. The one with the most hair “wins”, and by winning I mean winning only the admiration and envy of all the other 18 or 19 year olds.

The upside is that I do enjoy beards on dudes when it looks good on them. The downside is that some guys end up looking positively disgustng, either sporting a Grizzly Adams face with full cheek hair or a crusty month old moleststache.

All the itching, at laest in the initial few days/weeks, also keeps them from playing Halo all of interim as well, which I am sure their DCM prof appreciates.

Behold the Moleststache

Behold the Moleststache


Kaydonthedinosaur finds religion

One of the (very few) perks of living on campus is that the laundry is free. The building I live in has washers and dryers in the basement and every once in awhile you can find the most fantastic things in there. Last year I found a campus safety work shirt (which goes over very well at parties) and a “Gator Farm” t-shirt in one.

But my latest find trumps everything. Everything!

It is a holographic guitar pick, look at it one way and it’s Jesus, then it changes to a cross which says “Jesus saves” within it.

Kitsch is so fabulous. I’m currently disregarding that some non-American Christians may feel that playing a guitar with the savior’s face may be blasphemous and that the ancient Romans would be confused and embarrassed for us concerning how we treat a horrible means of execution. This rocks!

Here’s where you all can purchase your own: Guitar picks.

The user may be struck down with lightning if he/she attempts to play Rob Zombie with this

Warning: The user may be struck down with lightning if he/she attempts to play Rob Zombie with this

Oh, the mandatory meetings you will go to!

Everyone’s favorite dinosaur is making the difficult transition from off-campus living to the on-campus apartments. This means Calvin instituted rules, an RA, Barnabi (who perhaps won’t pester b/c there are less of them than there are in the dorms), overeager people and forced community.

I’m not into forced community, I (to use an overused phrase here at Calvin) am into intentional community. Which more or less means that I will hang out with whomever I please to, which excludes people who are overeager about things such as mud bowl.

I also have to get used to mandatory meetings (as well as other things like not getting to play with melting candles and the utter lack of alcoholic cider in my apartment).

It differs little from dorm mandatory meetings, there are introductions, the Barnabus team and the RD figure will wander it at some point, sign ups for Chaos Day/ Mudbowl, a reading of the general rules and more awkward introductions. Something similar to this will happen in every first class period too. It gets boring after awhile.

The Demerit Wall of Shame

Necessary background Info: For being a Christian college Calvin is pretty much an oddball. No dress code, no required chapel attendance, no pledge that we will abstain from such sins as dancing, holding hands or watching movies…heck, we don’t even have a curfew! This causes quite a bit of consternation with our neighbors. Many over at Cornerstone feel that we are all backslidden and such because you can visit a person of the opposite sex in their one-campus apartment all day everyday (we are heathens for expecting some self control, I guess).

How do we define our boundaries in our everyday lives then? In an overused phrase overheard at Calvin: Responsible Freedom. Some take this to mean the responsibility to let someone else dictate how they ought to live (and the usually end up transferring to a stricter college) and others take this to mean the freedom to poke fun at anything they damn well please.

If you don’t know by now (and if you don’t then you can be sure that we have never met in person), I am of the latter group.

The Demerit Wall of Shame’s beginnings: One night I stumbled upon a list of rules from Pensacola Christian College. I found them hilarious and read them to my roommate who thought that they were hilarious also. We found whoever else was up at 2 AM (I told you we were heathens with no curfews) on our floor and read the list to them. We then took bets on how long it would take each of us to get kicked out. My roommate, we figured, would survive the longest: 2 weeks and I would last the shortest amount of time: 10 minutes (though some postulated that it might be quicker if they tried to take away my metal music sooner rather than later).

We then organized a contest.

The rules: None of us (or any of our floormates who were obliviously slumbering away) would radically change our behaviors during the upcoming week and we would post the list of rules I had found in the hallway. Each person could give another a demerit if they saw fit, but only after reading them the rule which they had broken. And we decided that it was rather unfair (and an invasion of personal space) to go into other’s rooms, but narcing on your roommate was fine. The one with the most demerits at the end of the week won.

Printing that list killed my printing quota for that semester.

How it went: We got each other most often for wearing pants in the dorm, breaking lights out, not wearing socks with shoes and going barefoot (with my cussing getting an honorable mention for being the greatest individual sin). Our RA was seriously worried about leaving her room when we were in the hall and many of our floormates were either confused by it or used their responsible freedom to ignore us.

The Winner: I was in the lead (thanks to my navy-ready vocabulary) up until I went to a weekend long horseshow. Jo, I believe, was declared the winner.