How to cuss like a Dutch, Calvin College girl

Christian cussing is the most irritating thing in the world. First off, words like “flipping”, “cracker”, “Gorsh”, and “Frackin'” just sound uber ridiculous flung out of the mouth of a person who is red in the face and with tears of hate/extreme love/ frustration flowing down their face. Secondly and thirdly, we are taught that there is a time and a place for everything and you don’t have to worry about your testimony towards “the world” when you are surrounding by other Christians.

There is one phrase that is particularly odious in my mind- “Oh My Stars!”

Seriously?Are we in the contest for “colloquialism most likely to give you diabetes” award? If so, I believe the southern phrase “bless your heart” has already won, and has promptly been turned into a subtle diss against unsuspecting Yankees.

This was my entire floor’s favorite phrase whenever things went south. I began to hate this phrase with the same amount of passion that I eventually grew to hate the words CFR, NOOMA, Discernment and Engagement.

So if you ever feel like cussing like a Dutch girl who attends Calvin you need only know one phrase…but I swear to my stars that if you utter it around me I will gut you like a fish!


2 responses to “How to cuss like a Dutch, Calvin College girl

  1. LOL – I have to judiciously re-phrase my expletives in the presence of a certain nephew of yours and you would probably hate those too, but at least I have never uttered any of those phrases with the exception of “flippin”. I will admit that has slipped out. And luckily I have my very own internal censor that will magically spew “What the {silence}” instead of what my head is actually saying. My son is still blissfully aware that his mother is quite able to sound like a trucker when he’s not around…

  2. kaydonthedinosaur

    I usually do pretty well with my internal censor too (which i mainly use around the fam and in class), but every once in awhile I will slip up in class…but that’s usually in the classes where the prof adores South Park, so I don’t think he minds.

    My friend’s folks think I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread except for the fact that I cuss like a sailor at horse shows.

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