Some People are Against a lot

So i was perusing Facebook, ignoring the 30+ lines of Homer that I still have to translate and the 2 pages of Bio reading for tomorrow, and I noticed that I have a ton of friends/acquaintances that have joined various groups that start with the phrase “Christians Against…”. There are currently 800 groups on Facebook that have such a phrase in their titles and because I am currently avoiding all that I have to do I compiled a list of the most hilarious. And yes, I am aware that a good deal of these are jokes (and I’m hoping that most are).

  • Christians Against Quiche
  • Christians Against Cancer (duh, isn’t everyone?)
  • Christians Against Christians Against Quiche that do actually like it
  • Christians against rich tea biscuits
  • Christians against worldly tolerance (it was a closed group, so I never found out what “worldly tolerance” entails…I hope it is a metal band!)
  • Christians against Christian music
  • Christians against Flying Spaghetti Monster Cult
  • Christians against Kum By Ah and rainbow guitar straps!
  • Christians against boycotting (I propose we boycott the boycotters!)
  • Christians against the addiction the mediocrity
  • Christians against the stripping of harmony in hymns
  • Christians against side hugs
  • Christians against idiots
  • Christians against “Christian” bumper stickers
  • Christians against coffee
  • Christians against “Christians” who go out and drink! You know who you are (Kaydon looks at the boy-who-makes-her-food)
  • Christians against all things
  • Christians against Saw V (I too am against really long franchises…but that’s not what they mean)
  • Christians against evolution in all areas
  • Christians against condensed soup
  • Christians against compare people
  • Christians against “Christians against the Golden Compass”
  • Christians against History Class
  • Christians against vegetables
  • Christians against Christmas
  • Christians against the song “Santa Baby”
  • Christians against women’s suffrage
  • Christians against politics
  • Christians against Jews
  • Christians against 1 Timothy 2:12
  • Christians against government
  • Christians against the Ernest movies
  • Christians against Jesus
  • Christians against bad advertisements

Ok. so I got to page 30…

But-but how will the pope, Joel Osteen or Kenneth Copeland affored their private jets then?

But-but how will the pope, Joel Osteen or Kenneth Copeland affored their private jets then?

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One response to “Some People are Against a lot

  1. “Christians against worldly tolerance (it was a closed group, so I never found out what “worldly tolerance” entails…I hope it is a metal band!) ”

    Haha, your commentary cracks me up, Kalzone.

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