The Rosetta Stone kid

Its seems as though every history class I will ever take will be ripe with nutcases. Why this is I have no idea, maybe this crucial area is where homeschooling fails the most.

But I’m in the process currently of tracking down Disney Movie Girl because I think they would make a great couple (because neither of them have any historical knowledge and in each class I had with them I prayed that they were just freshmen because any other possible would have led me to weep endlessly for humanity and opening my veins).

Necessary Background Info:

Class: History of Greece and Rome. Pretty self-explanatory, history with a smattering of important cultural things like mythology, religion and art. This class, like many other courses in the Classics dept. can be taken for core, so it is quite large and filled with all kinds of people.

How he got his name and other *headdesk* moments:

The first time he burst into the limelight in this class he had to stop the class because he was confused about the reading we had done in the Iliad. Not just any sort of confusion however, he didn’t even know who was fighting who (ok, who by now has not seen the shit fest starring Brad Pitt named “Troy”?) and was trying to figure out whether Achilles was part of the 300 Spartans. All in all, nothing too major, except that all his queries could have been easily answered in a matter of minutes on Wikipedia.

After a brief description of the Rosetta Stone and how it allowed scholars to translate Egyptian Hieroglyphics (which went along the lines of, “The stone had three languages carved onto it; Greek, Demotic and Heiroglyphics. Scholars presumed it was the same text written three times, and since they knew how to read the Greek and some of the Demotic they could then use that info to translate the heiroglyiphics”).

But he had to stop class because he couldn’t understand that. It was the most painful thing in the world to hear him for ten minutes carefully work through the Rosetta stone mystery outloud. In the end he finally exclaimed, “Oh! You mean that since they knew two languages they could then figure out the third?”

Once suggested that that the tomb of Alexander never existed since we don’t know where it was, all the first-hand witnesses be damned!

Upon being shown an artist’s rendering of what the Mausoleum of Helicarnassas may have looked like he exclaimed, “Wow! That’s huge!” Then, when the prof had begun talking about it exclaimed loudly again, “That’s freakin’ HUGE!” About three more similar outbursts followed.

He also can’t seem to quite figure out how armies work, as he had a fair bit of trouble figuring out how Alexander the Great conquered much of the then-known world.

How he benefits the rest of the class:

He makes everyone else look like a genius and he is the most amusing thing in my mornings.

Apparently the concept is really hard

Apparently the concept is really hard


2 responses to “The Rosetta Stone kid

  1. HAHAHA….oh wow, this kid sounds like a less douchey version of that one bitch in our PhilGen. class. IE – instead of being a total fucking cock, he is more just hilariously painful. I miss Calvin and all the terrible, wonderful people who go there, who brighten my day by making asshats out of themselves.

  2. kaydonthedinosaur

    We’ll trade second semester, ok? You can have the asshats and I’ll be in York (hopefully hanging out with some uber-annoying chavs).

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