The birthday no one cares about

Try walking into a bar and getting really excited about turning 22, no one cares much. But on this, the glorious day of my birth 22 years ago, I will tell you all 22 inconsequential and rather useless things about me.

1. My favorite program growing up was “Gospel Bill”

Damn, I had good taste in men as a child

2. I would have been studying Paleontology right now were it not for growing up being force fed creationist propoganda. Alas, my subconcious knew that I could never actually touch Dino bones if I believed the tripe, so it steered me towards a much better field for a young earther- Archaeology (actually, it’s almost worse than paleontology).

3. I’m an evil evilutionist, humanist, feminist, liberal. Myself from four years ago would have hated me (and I would have loved making her uncomfortable)

4. A former middle school teacher once said “You’ll do anything to get a reaction out of people” in a hopeless tone of voice. He was right.

5. I had no idea wtf the CRC was before I got to Calvin and I thought that “predestination” was the prequel to the movie “Final Destination”

6. An ex boyfriend once wanted to see what my former rugby coach/ his English teacher would do if he told him that I beat him. My coach’s reaction was, “Don’t sign up for anything you can’t handle.”

7. I met my boyfriend’s little brother before I really met him. I was a sophomore in first year religion and told the group that I was questioning my faith and described myself as an agnostic. He jumped straight up in the air and every day from then on I tried really hard (when I actually came to class) to sit next to him b/c I found his reaction fascinating. Unfortunately, he always had friends around him.

8. My guilty pleasure is Demon Hunter. I have a crush on the lead singer’s voice (but not on him, he is not very attractive).

9. I got a plant for my birthday that I have named Simon Magnis (points if you know who he is!). I once had a plant named Iscariot who I was found of the singing the Showdown song to.

10. I want a pair of custom chucks. Badly.

11. I used to be an awesome speaker, and then I started playing rugby and getting concussions.

12. I was named after a character on the 80’s tv show “Airwolf”

13. I was supposed to be a boy. Coincidentally, there is a dude who attends Calvin who has the exact name I would have had if I had been a boy (first and last name). I think I would have been way hotter than him though.

14. After Latin and Greek I find it damn near impossible to pronounce the English “V” correctly. This

In Hat We Trust

In Hat We Trust

makes it hard to say Dutch last names. Which makes it somewhat hard to function at Calvin.

15. I once found POD to be “hardcore”

16. Mrs. Degree-ers think I’m one of them. They get a rude awakening when I cuss them out when they try talking to me about how great it’ll be to never have to work (they are the engineer-seekers).

17. I am fond of stalking those with giant backpacks, fuzzy hats or fantastic homeschool t-shirts w/ the RA.

18. I hate rules, even though I usually follow them all of my own accord in my everyday behavior.

19. Calling something “mandatory” is a good way to get me to not show up.

20. I have gotten into fights with other Classics majors about whether Latin qualifies as “music” or “poetry” (It’s poetry, Dammit! Greek is music).

21. I didn’t go out for my 21st birthday.

22. No one even dares to argue or discuss the Bible with me ever since I destroyed a floormates cheesy theology using the original Greek. I’m kind of a bastard that way.


2 responses to “The birthday no one cares about

  1. Can I just say my little sister rocks? You know, one of these days I’ll actually get to spend your birthday with you. I don’t think I’ve done that since about your 2nd or maybe it was 3rd. But hey – I don’t think I’ve EVER been around for Ab’s – unless you count the actual BIRTH day…nope, I spent that with my then boyfriend and a friend being hovered over by Grandma D.
    Anyways, hope you enjoyed!!!

  2. kaydonthedinosaur

    Come up to GR this weekend and you can! I’m sure the parentals won’t mind watching Michael (mom has bit a bit down since Abbie left).

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