[expletive] Rob Bell

A very basic thing that probably everyone should know about me is that I hate Rob Bell. Actually, hate is too mild so let me go Biblical on you: I abhor Rob Bell.

It has nothing to do with theology.

It has everything to do with him bastardizing two languages.

It all started with a cool Greek word used rather frequently in the New Testament, pneuma (it means breath). The infatuation with using words from other languages to make yourself seem smarter (especially when talking about Jesus) isn’t just limiting to Calvin College. But Rob, a native English speaker who probably handles words like pneumonia, pneumatic and eugenics perfectly fine, decided that the world was just not ready for the awesomeness that was a translitterated Greek word (and that English speakers are retarded) so he changed the spelling to NOOMA.

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!

But really? A) This is insulting to English speakers everywhere. Most English speakers can handle “Pn” and “eu” sounds in their words. To think otherwise is kinda arrogant.       B) Greek is my language of choice and I just want to start punching people when they try to mess with it. It’s the language of the freakin’ gods, people!       C) Mega Churches are way creepy.

This man makes baby Jesus cry

This man makes baby Jesus cry

So Fuck Rob Bell. Srsly.

Plus, his brother has a totally retarded “ministry.”

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