A confession is due: I had a crush on a boy at Calvin my first year. He was absolutely lovely and i would religiously watch him through my dorm window, which faced the smoker’s pit. He basically looked like Andrew Schwab, only cuter, if such a thing can be imagined. I drooled over his lip ring, gaged ears, his rocker hair cut, tight black t-shirts and dreamy blue eyes which looked stunning set off by his black hair. I dreamed of drumming up enough courage to begin smoking so that I could go out and sit with him. Alas, I lacked balls my first semester and was still too straight-edge for my own good.
But then a terrible thing happened, he became an RA (Resident Assistant) the next year. The next time I saw him half the piercings in his face were gone, his hair was cut short and respectable, he wore loose fitting polos and had lost all sense of humour. He had become a pretty typical Calvin boy, uptight and not fun. I was devastated, my dream boy had turned into my worse nightmare.
He was then elected President of the Student Council or something, which meant he also acquired a hard-on for anything Calvin did.
Power corrupts, it turns perfectly beautiful people into monsters. Keep this in mind, kids.