“I don’t think God is calling us to be together”

It’s the Christian way of saying, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

What it is: A favorite break up line at Calvin College.

What it does: Its a handy way to do what we have been trained to do, put God into everything, while blaming him for your own lack of interest/her BO/his partying ways, etc. Not only does this tactic make you look more spiritual (and more in-touch with the big guy) but it always does two very important things; it makes it not about you and also makes it all about you.

It takes the focus off yourself because no further questions will be asked. The dumpee won’t bother to ask the whys, hows or if there is ever a chance of getting back together because who is going to argue with God? Adding to that is the fact that most students at Calvin are Calvinists and all about predestination so of course who are they to argue that you two aren’t predestined to not be together?

It also makes it all about you because, as stated before, it makes you look waaaay more spiritual. It is also a subtle dis, God is calling you on to bigger and better things than what your ex could ever give you. It also gives you an out as to why that Philippine MK has been catching your eye lately and why a week later you will be parading around campus arm in arm with the aforementionedĀ  Philippine MK.

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