Calvin College Events to Attend: Unborn Week

What it is: Even if you didn’t sign up for the Calvin Republicans during Cokes and Clubs, there’s still time to get in on the fun (Heck, even if you hate the idea of them there’s still a way to get in on the fun, but more on that later). Unborn week was held this year during the last week of February and is a celebration of what evangelicals do best (when not getting all hot and bothered about gay marriage): talking about how evil abortion is. Loosely based upon the Unlearn Week template, it will mostly consist of lectures in the late afternoon with a few movies thrown in.

What to expect: College Republicans selling t-shirts in Johnny’s, me trying to restrain myself from doctoring the Unborn Week posters to say “Unborn-Again Week” with a Sharpie, getting invited to the official Facebook group, tons of letters to the editor of Chimes and posters with naked fetuses everywhere. Beware, the discussions following the movie are not led by Ken Heffner and will not ask you to discern, this may come as a big shock, so prepare yourself for it.

How to get involved: Buy a t-shirt and wear any other pro-life t-shirt you own (if you once belonged to a youth group this should be no problem). Write a letter to the editor, either claim that your parents were once told to abort you but you came out fine (implying that complications in pregnancy are often exaggerated) and how glad you are that they didn’t kill you in the womb; or write a letter that always puts the word “right”, as in “a woman’s right to choose”, in parenthesis to strongly imply that the right is bullshit (note:only males follow this format) and be sure to link abortion with the problems of unemployment, welfare queens, terrorism and gay marriage; or write a letter in which you quote every single verse in the Bible that is found within poetic contexts that could possibly “prove” that life starts at conception, ignoring all the others that could throw your conclusion into doubt and how other similar and neighboring bronze age cultures at the time viewed when life started; state that adoption is the best option. Or you can just stand next to me in order to prevent me from doctoring the Unborn Week posters.

Thing to be frustrated about when it comes to this event: It’s a fact that the vast majority of the CRC and GR is extremely conservative and Republican but on campus these demographics are oddly flipped (I blame the outsiders), making most of campus either leaning towards pro-choice, with a small percentage unsure and an equal percentage pro-life. This leads to general apathy. Plus, that week last year a lot of papers were due.

A fun Unborn Week activity: Even though I did not attend, this event gave rise to the funnest game ever, and one of E2’s greatest facebook groups. The formula is really simple,

Unborn Baby + Title of a book, movie, etc + In Africa

ex.” Sex is not the Problem (lust is)” by Josh Harris becomes “Unborm Baby Sex is not the Problem (lust is) in Africa”

Note: In this game Christian books are far more funny than are almost any other type of book.

Unborn Baby Velvet Elvis in Africa
Unborn Baby Sex God in Africa
Unborn Baby NOOMAs in Africa
Unborn Babies Stop Dating the Church in Africa
Unborn Baby Sex is not the Problem (lust is) in Africa
Unborn Baby Boy Meets Girl in Africa
Unborn Babies Kiss Dating Goodbye in Africa
Unborn Babies Left Behind in Africa
Unborn Babies Soul Harvest: The World Takes Sides in Africa
Unborn Nicholae: Rise of the Antichrist in Africa
Unborn Babies’ Tribulation Force: The Contuing Drama of Those Left Behind in Africa
Unborn Babies Engaging God’s world in Africa

Submit your own! It’s fun and easy


One response to “Calvin College Events to Attend: Unborn Week

  1. Pingback: Kaydon writes a Christian Romance (part 1) « Kaydonthedinosaur’s Weblog

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