Things that never happen in Europe

As any reader of “Stuff White People Like” will know, white people are all about Europe and how fantastic it is. These past few days I have made some key discoveries about Europe from people who have been there.

1. Europeans cannot get fat. I discovered this while shopping with somebody who spent last semester in Hungary. She dropped this nugget of fact on me as she extolled the virtues of buying fresh bread everyday. Americans can never be so lucky. I think it is safe to assume that Europeans don’t have fatty foods either, only organic and free-range produce.

2. In Europe the buses always run on time. A co-rider on the Greyhound going to Southfield informed me of this this afternoon when our bus was delayed for half an hour. I’m not sure if this extends to just Eastern Europe or only Italy, which she was raving to me about. I shall check with the student who went to Hungary shortly.

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