Calvin College Demographics: The MRS degree seekers

Usually a phenomena found at private Christian colleges and Bible colleges, a quick Google search has shown that this lifestyle is also catching on at more prestigious universities, such as Harvard. But don’t dare call these individuals lazy! Oh no, they have worked hard to get into this small, liberal arts college and have no qualms about draining their daddy’s bank account paying upwards of $40,000 a year. They are rather young, conservative, Christian women who believe the Bible when it says that a woman’s only use is for her uterus and for wiping the kiddies’ noses.

But they know that this calling is infeasible with just any dude (especially if they want to maintain a certain standard of living), so they often will choose carefully an engineer, pre-med or pre-law major. Also opted for is a pastor/youth pastor, since they know that even if God won’t provide they will be looked up to by their churches, communities, and all the youth group girls.

So, without further ado, the three groupings which these women fall into:

Those after the sugar daddies:

  • After engineers or pre-med (pre-law to a lesser extent)
  • Will be on a constant hunt, but will only seriously start dating sophomore year.
  • Will marry after graduation, after he has already found a job (no dough, no marriage)
  • Will have the wedding all planned by second semester of freshman year
  • “What, me learn?” They will have learned absolutely nothing in all their semesters at Calvin, or they just don’t care about how retarded they look referencing Harry Potter in Philosophy of Gender.
  • See no problem paying over $40,000 a year just to get married and never use their degree again
  • Will question spouse-to-be concerning what sort of engineer or doctor they planned to be, genes, family history and family wealth (somebody has to buy the starter house in the gated community)
  • Can be found mostly in elementary education, nursing, interdisciplinary majors, religion, biology and psychology.

Those after Pastors and/or youth pastors:

  • Will come in dating their husband-to-be or will find them first semester
  • Will be married by junior year. By second year NT greek all the pre-seminary students will have a serious girlfriend or are already engaged.
  • Can often be found in the religion department, although they are not really sure what they are doing there…
  • If not in the religion department, they can also be found in the psychology department, learning how to help people (awwwwww…)

The desperate ones:

  • Will get married to anyone at anytime (even people from Cornerstone!). But they later will bitch about how they have to work, even though they married a sophomore philosophy major.
  • Will join the pastor-seekers in the most disadvantaged group ever.
Advertisements

7 responses to “Calvin College Demographics: The MRS degree seekers

  1. I like the part about sugar daddies… I would like to add the fact before they graduate.

  2. Mike Workman (the real one)

    (ignore other comment)
    I like the part about sugar daddies… I would like to add the statistic that 93% of Calvin engineering grads have a full-time job before they graduate.

  3. Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.

    cheers, Homeboy.

  4. Hah, glad to see that nothing has changed one iota in the decades since I was at Calvin. MRS Degrees have always a huge source of income for the board of trustees. Bring in the future baby factories, milk ’em out of daddy’s bucks, hook ’em up with a young sugar daddy, use the resources to build big shrines to the big church egos, then churn the cycle thru the generations. It’s a stable model that passes the test of time. And of course, makes their brand of “Christianity” a farce to the rest of society. Oh well, that Dutch subculture will probably continue for decades to come. Xenophobia, inbreeding, it’s all good for keeping the kids down on the metaphorical farm.

  5. kaydonthedinosaur

    Ex Calvin, you nailed it. I too also doubt that it will ever change, the CRC depends on Calvin to keep their numbers up!

    …When did you graduate, if you don’t mind sharing?

  6. SweetCaroline

    Wow.. never in my life have I read something so stereotypical and sexist. I sincerely hope that you have a wonderful life douchebag.

    • kaydonthedinosaur

      SweetCaroline, this post was in a series of tongue-in-cheek writings about life at the Christian college I attended. And yes, while I meant it to be gently mocking (or just flat out mocking) I did so with the express purpose to a) entertain b)let off some steam and c)hold up these stereotypes and expectations so that they could be thoroughly mocked and recognized for what they are; mainly a cultural practice that strips many bright and otherwise intelligent women of any distinction other than having a uterus.

      If I had a nickel for every woman who attended my alma mater who had been told all their lives that they had no other purpose (or that there was no higher calling for them) than to marry and pump out babies or who had their aspirations for a career blasted by others (happened to myself and several of my friends) or their personal decisions being ridiculed by other students and faculty (I had a professor chuckle and tell me “Don’t worry, you’ll change your mind in a few years” when I said that I don’t want children) I wouldn’t be deep in student loan debt right now.

      And I have faced the stereotypes that are in this article as well. A girl in one of my philosophy class, upon learning that I too was dating an engineer, exclaimed, “Isn’t it great that we’ll never have to work a day in our lives?” in a completely serious manner. And the boy-who-makes-me-food had the honor of having several women his freshman year show interest in him for none other than his major (they later backed off when they received an honest answer to what diseases ran in his family…he’s brutally honest like that)

      So, I think that we are on the same page here, the attitudes and stereotypes that lead to this post are sexist and wrong on many, many levels.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s