The benefits of having no hair

If you read my travel blog, you already know that I shaved my head. And there are a lot more benefits to it and I’m thinking of being permenately bald because of them.

• Showers are uber fast now. This is uber good because random hairs on the walls of the community shower creep me out. And I don’t need to wait for my hair to dry.
• I don’t have to worry about frizzy hair in damp England.
• The other day I walked into the shop to buy mousse, I got to the hair care aisle and was like, “Wait a minute!” and I bought some more canned peaches instead (the peaches canned in grape juice are the best!)
• No bad hair days for awhile
• I have always been a fan of hats, but sadly have had few opportunities to wear them often…not anymore!
• My search for an awesome hat lead me to a Scouser who said he loved my accent.
• Everyone thinks I’m waaaaay cooler and way more of a rebel than I actually am.
• How else was I supposed to find out that my head was not horribly misshapen from all those years of rugby?

• You can totally go incognito for a few hours-days since people are used to identifying me by my hair.

It rocks.

York is turning me Dutch

Once upon a time I had quite a lot of money saved for my semester in York…then Calvin screwed me out of it. So to save money I have started handwashing my clothes…in my sink and drying them on my radiator.

Yep, I am now officially too cheap to pay 2 pound 60 for washing and drying clothes.

Dutch lads, eat your heart out.

Some People are Against a lot

So i was perusing Facebook, ignoring the 30+ lines of Homer that I still have to translate and the 2 pages of Bio reading for tomorrow, and I noticed that I have a ton of friends/acquaintances that have joined various groups that start with the phrase “Christians Against…”. There are currently 800 groups on Facebook that have such a phrase in their titles and because I am currently avoiding all that I have to do I compiled a list of the most hilarious. And yes, I am aware that a good deal of these are jokes (and I’m hoping that most are).

• Christians Against Quiche
• Christians Against Cancer (duh, isn’t everyone?)
• Christians Against Christians Against Quiche that do actually like it
• Christians against rich tea biscuits
• Christians against worldly tolerance (it was a closed group, so I never found out what “worldly tolerance” entails…I hope it is a metal band!)
• Christians against Christian music
• Christians against Flying Spaghetti Monster Cult
• Christians against Kum By Ah and rainbow guitar straps!
• Christians against boycotting (I propose we boycott the boycotters!)
• Christians against the addiction the mediocrity
• Christians against the stripping of harmony in hymns
• Christians against side hugs
• Christians against idiots
• Christians against “Christian” bumper stickers
• Christians against coffee
• Christians against “Christians” who go out and drink! You know who you are (Kaydon looks at the boy-who-makes-her-food)
• Christians against all things
• Christians against Saw V (I too am against really long franchises…but that’s not what they mean)
• Christians against evolution in all areas
• Christians against condensed soup
• Christians against compare people
• Christians against “Christians against the Golden Compass”
• Christians against History Class
• Christians against vegetables
• Christians against Christmas
• Christians against the song “Santa Baby”
• Christians against women’s suffrage
• Christians against politics
• Christians against Jews
• Christians against 1 Timothy 2:12
• Christians against government
• Christians against the Ernest movies
• Christians against Jesus
• Christians against bad advertisements

Ok. so I got to page 30…

But-but how will the pope, Joel Osteen or Kenneth Copeland affored their private jets then?

Kaydonthedinosaur finds religion

One of the (very few) perks of living on campus is that the laundry is free. The building I live in has washers and dryers in the basement and every once in awhile you can find the most fantastic things in there. Last year I found a campus safety work shirt (which goes over very well at parties) and a “Gator Farm” t-shirt in one.

But my latest find trumps everything. Everything!

It is a holographic guitar pick, look at it one way and it’s Jesus, then it changes to a cross which says “Jesus saves” within it.

Kitsch is so fabulous. I’m currently disregarding that some non-American Christians may feel that playing a guitar with the savior’s face may be blasphemous and that the ancient Romans would be confused and embarrassed for us concerning how we treat a horrible means of execution. This rocks!

Here’s where you all can purchase your own: Guitar picks.

Warning: The user may be struck down with lightning if he/she attempts to play Rob Zombie with this

You know you go to Calvin when…

You know when you go to Calvin when you are shocked to see two former RAs of yours at a club. Even more shocked when you discover that they are drunk and actually dancing with girls.

It’s similar to the shock you feel in the second grade when you discover that your teachers actually have a life outside of school.

News Flash: Love has died

Love has died at some point and apparently no one was invited to the funeral. Real sign in Zimmerman, MN. It was right next to a pro-life billboard but the two seem to have no logical connection.

the grave of love

Things I have learned in rural MN

• What the popular haircut amongst Current male country singers is
• That Billy Ray Cyrus is still writing sh@t
• How to drive a stick
• No new worship tunes have become popular enough for lame radio in the last two years
• I’m currently sitting next to an over 50 biker gang that is all about Jesus and going to church
• What short-term missions trips are all about (entry on those coming soon)
• The proper way to hold a chicken

Things This Dinosaur wants to do Before Death (which may be soon)

I apologize, but there will probably not be any future posts until mid July. The reason for this is that I am going to MN…waaaaaay out in the MN boonies where there is no such thing as reliable internet and where this spoiled suburban dinosaur will be pretending she is camping in order to keep sane. Although, if you begged and pleaded with the E2 RA she just may post on her random adventures in the world of random-ass ministries and Christian radio.

But I am not entirely convinced that I won’t die on this trip…and I have so much left to do!

Things I still have left to do/be:

1. I want to be Odysseus when I grow up. This has not happened thus far. Will someone, by tomorrow, propose going to war across the sea for ten years and then offend the gods so that I may wander around for awhile before I come home to slaughter the MRS degree seekers who will be seeking the-boy-who-makes-me-food (he is an engineer, you know)?
2. I am not Richard Dawkins either. I can still get away with saying factual statements about the nature of reality without half the civilized world jumping down my throat. Not cool.
3. I am not living in Rachel, Nevada nor have I ever. I cannot die without having lived at least six months in Rachel, Nevada.
4. I have not yet opened my very own Tim Horton’s franchise in my basement.
5. I want to have PZ Myers call me a name, any name will do. He recently called Ken Ham a “Wackaloon”, which you have to admit is pretty cool. I want a name too, but I do not want to have to become an idiot in order to get one (or a creationist, but I repeat myself).
6. I have not yet managed to get a punch in edgewise in my epic (going on four years!) battle with Ancient Greek. I don’t want nor do I need victory in this matter, but just once I would like the satisfaction of knowing what the hell I’m doing when I’m translating.
7. I need to get the ‘ex-leper’ scene from “The Life of Brian” on my i-pod.
8. So much hummous…not enough time! Same goes for Ice Capps from Tim Horton’s.
9. I want to be cremated with some custom Converse All Stars that have yet to be purchased.
10. I still only have one tattoo on my body…

Things that never happen in Europe

As any reader of “Stuff White People Like” will know, white people are all about Europe and how fantastic it is. These past few days I have made some key discoveries about Europe from people who have been there.

1. Europeans cannot get fat. I discovered this while shopping with somebody who spent last semester in Hungary. She dropped this nugget of fact on me as she extolled the virtues of buying fresh bread everyday. Americans can never be so lucky. I think it is safe to assume that Europeans don’t have fatty foods either, only organic and free-range produce.

2. In Europe the buses always run on time. A co-rider on the Greyhound going to Southfield informed me of this this afternoon when our bus was delayed for half an hour. I’m not sure if this extends to just Eastern Europe or only Italy, which she was raving to me about. I shall check with the student who went to Hungary shortly.

Tupac is in Neon Horse! (part one)

It has recently come to my attention that Tupac Shakur is really alive somewhere. It has also come to my attention that Neon Horse is one of the greatest bands of all time (and quite addiction-worthy). How are these two related? Well, that’s easy enough if you use your brain.

I beg to differ with my fellow theorists that Tupac has been reincarnated as another rapper. Why would he go back to the same industry if he wanted to lay low? Anyone who believes that is just stupid. What could possibly be a better place to lay low in than Tooth and Nail records, who have lately been sucking hardcore ( with a few obvious exceptions)?

To start, let’s analyze a few lines from the lyrics of the first song on the record, “Cuckoo!” (which incidentally runs 2:25, and it’s just a coincidence that Tupac died at 25, right?)

“And you’re HOT HOT On my trail and you know that it’s NOT NOT Not my fault but you know that you GOTTA GOTTA Pin the Tail… ” Now, obviously, this means that everyone is hot on Tupac’s trail, since most of the world is aware that he faked his own death. And it’s not his fault that Diddy was the object of a hoax that stated that he killed Tupac. Tupac never meant for anyone to be credited with his “murder”.

In the rest of “Cuckoo!” there is a constant refrain of “all else failed!” Tupac just wanted to change the world, but the cops and everyone were always hating on him. So he had to go underground to get everyone off his back and to truly be able to change the system.

Here’s yet another telling lyric from “I know—I just don’t care”

'Cause I'm here to bleed.
Been down in the dungeons.
Been high on the plains.

So obvious there is no need for words—Tupac is coming clean about his adventures since being “murdered.”

More revelations to follow as I discover them…

[ but here's a video to hold you all over until the next installment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTd_M_0mbVQ]