The start of Saturnalia is only 18 days away, how will you celebrate? I’m pretty sure my last final is on that day, so rest assured I will be happily celebrating.
Also, Mithras is the reason for the season.
And you can cause quite an incident at Calvin by writing stuff about Saturnalia and Mithras underneath white boards which have Christmas countdowns on them.
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: Christmas, Mithras, reason for the season, Saturnalia
Underneath my dashboard on this blog I find that people have entered the oddest things into search engines and have stumbled upon my blog. A few months back there was the person who was trying to find “pictures of unborn babies on t-shirts”, today there was someone looking for “precious moments baby jesus coloring” (precious moments make me want to pull a Seneca and open my veins, but that’s another story) and yesterday there was the person searching for “college drunk group sex”.
For serious?! The only tag that could have gotten them remotely close is “college”. And why didn’t they run an image search for that? If you want that enough to search on the internet for it then you probably want pictures, not text.
This is not an unborn baby on a t-shirt, but a much better t-shirt option
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: bizzare, college drunk group sex, tags, teach the controversy, Unborn babies on t-shirts
I am the best damn cultural discerner Calvin has ever seen. I can make Uncyclopedia look like the Bible, Rob Zombie like John the Baptist, obscenities into blessings, “The God Delusion” into a redemption song and Flannery O’Connor look like…well, shoot I guess she already wrote from a Christian perspective… I’m such a great discerner that I’m not quite welcome in the meetings anymore, I make them look bad (and nobody likes the token hardcore kid to be pointing out how bad indie music really is).
This week I finally got around to listening to a fantastic college radio show out of Albion College, Wrathgar The Warlord’s Coffee Hour. Now a disclaimer, Wrathgar is a good friend but I’m pretty sure I’d pan him if it were bad (Dinosaurs trump warlords any day of the week).
Entertaining guests, good vocal work and fantastic music selections with real-time listener feedback wanted and requested. Work of warning: listening to it on laptop speakers is less than optional (especially if the convos with the guests get heated).
And did I mention that this week’s show was all about Creation, Fall and Redemption? Christ would have loved it.
Check it out at every Monday at 10 pm.
Categories: Best Damn Cultural Discerner discerns culture
Tagged: college radio, Cultural Discerning, Wrathgar Warlord
So i was perusing Facebook, ignoring the 30+ lines of Homer that I still have to translate and the 2 pages of Bio reading for tomorrow, and I noticed that I have a ton of friends/acquaintances that have joined various groups that start with the phrase “Christians Against…”. There are currently 800 groups on Facebook that have such a phrase in their titles and because I am currently avoiding all that I have to do I compiled a list of the most hilarious. And yes, I am aware that a good deal of these are jokes (and I’m hoping that most are).
Ok. so I got to page 30…
But-but how will the pope, Joel Osteen or Kenneth Copeland affored their private jets then?
Categories: Discoveries
Tagged: Christians against, Facebook, Homer
Word of advice for you younger and more naive kids out there. Don’t date the lead singer in a “metal” band. You will just break up and then he will write a song about you that is only released in Europe. It will also incorporate a rhyme scheme that elementary school poets will think is quite clever (but no one else). But it will be extremely catchy and I will sing it for days.
But fear not, they will break up shortly and then it will surface on their myspace page.
So the next time you see the E2 RA, you have my explicit permission to belt out the following:
“Hold me hold me clooooooose,
I can’t be mended!
Even even nooooow,
I can’t be mended!
Now that I’m freeeeeeee
The world can truly seee
That I can never be
Your lover!
Now that I’m freeeeeee
everyone will seeee
that I can never be
Your lover!
[insert some screaming of key phrases in the chorus here]“
Now that’s what I call metal!
Categories: How to do stuff
Tagged: E2 RA, I can never be your lover
We all know that God hates those at Hope College because the aren’t really Reformed like us at Calvin. Need proof? They shut down their campus due to an outbreak of Norovirus, which is some sort of stomach flu. What more proof does one need?
But since there are those in the Calvin community that associate with the college that God hates, we might have this thing coming to our beloved by the Lord campus.
Forget the 15 e-mails you recieve each day from John Witte and the like, here’s how to really survive the Plague ‘08:
You can thank me later
Categories: Calvin Events to Attend · How to do stuff
Tagged: Calvin College, Hope College, How to do stuff, Norovirus, Plague '08
Were you aware that Biology is the least Biblical degree, according to a random person on Commons this afternoon?
…Just food for thought for you science nerds.
None of these things are Biblical
Categories: Things overheard
Tagged: Biology degree, Calvin College, Commons lawn
Thankfully, the annoying campaign ads end tomorrow. I have just returned from my first class of the day (a lab where we mostly do fun things like play with termites and grow fern spores) and saw and heard a few interesting things having to do with election day:
1) Within the first few minutes of class I overheard a conspiracy theory that ends with the speaker of the house being sworn in by election day (something about a slew of assasinations, an old man croakinga and Palin being offed by people angry at her stupidity
2) A discussion of what stores are giving away free things (including vibrators at a few adult stores). This was followed by myself and a friend mourning that we voted absentee and cannot get free donuts.
3) A “Jesus for President” campaign button. I don’t really think that Jesus would want to be president, personally, it would make all that “render unto Caesar…” stuff needlessly complicated.
Categories: Calvin Events to Attend
Tagged: Election, Jesus for president, obama
The Calvin walk is nothing more than a nighttime walk around campus with your significant other, I’m quite sure it has equivelants at most other colleges. But at Calvin it is also deadly serious and oftentimes take as an opportinity to do somethings that you would commonly not do.
It also makes for a great DTR moment as well. The boy-who-makes-me-food related recently that he had seen a couple having a DTR on the benches by the bridge. It’s a good spot for a DTR or any serious discussion; well lighted and not too secluded, just too bad that one half of the couple used that well-lighted very public spot as the location to break the other one’s heart. Its just not cool to see anyone openly weeping when you are coming home from a long shift at your on-campus job. [this is also an example of a Calvin walk gone wrong]
A Calvin walk also functions as a cheap, informal date. But one should remember that at Calvin any and all personal, one-on-one contact with the opposite sex is a date and therefore deadly serious (as you might remember, there is no such thing as informal dating at Calvin).
Good Dutch Reformed boys and girls will also take a Calvin date as an opportunity to participate in activities that they would feel uncomfortable doing in their well-lit dorm rooms and might not want to admit doing to their Barnabus. At one point during most Calvin walks there will be a bit of making out. Many Calvin walks consitst entirely of walking to a dark and secluded place and then making out for an hour or two. Also, word on the street is that the nature preserve is a great place for feeling up your significant other or getting back to nature entirely and going all the way (that is why it is a bad idea to frequent the preserve after dark).
Popular Places to visit/popular desinations for a Calvin walk:
Johnny’s: If your walk ends early enough, why not cap it off with some coffee and a serious discussion about predestination?
The Sem. Pond: Duh, water, waterfalls, cute ducks, a bridge you can lay upon and gaze up at the stars(or have a serious discussion concerning predestination) …
Nature Preserve: See above (not so good for discussions about predestination)
The Pond by the baseball fields: very secluded and dark. I have it on good authority that it is an ideal make-out spot (and thus probably not idea; for discussions revolving around predestination).
Important reminder: Don’t invite someone on a Calvin walk if you are merely interested in getting to know them better or if you are only interested in casual dating. This will incur much heartache and that might be you on that bench by the bridge in the future sobbing because some seemingly mild-mannered Dutch girl ripped you a new-one.
Fun Factoid: You can tell how much the couple has dated before by the amount of eye contact they maintain throughout the walk and how close they walk next to each other.
First/second/third date: will walk on opposite sides of the sidewalk and stare at the ground
going out three months to a year: hips are side-by-side and they stare deeply into each others eyes (they will run you over and hardly notice it if you don’t get out of their way)
one year and up: hold hands and prefer to glance around to see what everybody else out at that time is doing
Kaydon_the_dinosaur (at any stage in the relationship): “Boy? What boy? I have cider!”
Useless factoid: Kaydon_the_dinosaur has only been on one Calvin walk in her life. This occured a few hours ago for the purpose of further research/cider.
This bridge is just dying to have a happy couple upon it
Categories: Calvin Events to Attend · Case Studies
Tagged: Calvin College, Calvin Walk, date, DTR
